My plan is to write each night while it’s fresh in my mind but it’s still kind of all a blur. But I will try. For those that don’t know I am stepping pretty far out of my comfort zone this week and participating in a a 7-day, 329 mile trek across Maryland. The trek is hiking and biking starting from the top of Wisp Mountain in Deep Creek Lake and ends in the Atlantic Ocean in Ocean City, MD. The trek raises funds for Just in Power Kids, a childhood cancer non-profit (https://justinpowerkids.org/ check them out). Ariella was honored on the trek twice and after she passed David and I participated in their Kids Trek Day. It obviously has a lot of meaning for us.
Now that you’re caught up, let’s start with Day 0. Actually, let’s back up to when we agreed to even do this thing, back in May. Justin Berk, the one who began it all, has been trying to get David and I trek for a few years now. This year we happened to be free and had a conversation with Justin about the logistics. Before I could even process any of it or take any time to think about it David said and I quote, “I’m in!” Not to be outdone I of course had to agree on the spot so there it was. David and I just decided on purpose to put ourselves through who knows what 7-days straight. Maybe we were drinking at the time? Or maybe we just agreed so we could end the phone call (Justin can talk!) (Justin, just teasing, we love you!). Anyway for some strange reason we thought it was a good idea and now here we are.
After we agreed to this we really didn’t do much else about it. We talked about it a lot, said we should probably start training, figure out what we needed, etc. but didn’t take much action until probably later than we should have. I wasn’t too worried, I’m on my feet a lot with marathon training and even though walking is different I was sure I could handle it. Well the walking part anyway. The biking? A whole other story. I was not one of those kids always on my bike and while I would ride with Ariella or David from time to time, I was never super comfortable on my bike (and I don’t just mean those awful seats) and most definitely not a confident rider. But I was going to do this thing. So I dragged out my bike, dusted it off, clipped in, and fell over (this was my first time clipping in, well other than the Peloton and that probably doesn’t count since it would be pretty challenging to fall off of that). To be fair the clip was too tight so I couldn’t release my foot and once I fixed that, I was off and riding down my street. I reached the end, stopped, clipped out, turned, and then started again. Because turning is hard. So that’s how it went for a bit. Up and down my street, taking super wide turns or stopping altogether to turn. Straight and flat, easy peasy. So what’s the next logical step? A 30-mile group training ride on the road, right? Not right. But I did it anyway. Well mostly. Partly? I was fortunate to have a very patient person riding with me, guiding me through changing the gears and such yet was white knuckling it the entire time. We decided to turn around sooner than the others and it was going fine other than the pure terror rushing through my body especially when flying (riding the breaks) downhill towards a curve. But I made it through incident free. Until I reached the top of a hill and fell over. I have no idea what happened. One second I was up after cresting a mountain (mountain, hill, whatever) and the next I was on the ground. Fortunately we were offered help and I did not have to climb back up on that bicycle that day. I did ride 17 miles so not too shabby. But. You fall of a bike you get back on. Two days later I went to a 10.6 mile paved bike loop to practice. And hated every. single. second of it. But not to be deterred I did it again the following week and hated more than every single second because this time the path was pretty crowded and I was just waiting for disaster (meanwhile, we took Ariella there to bike when she was 8 and she rode the whole loop with no problem). Finished free of casualties but could have used a Xanax (or 5). This did not bode well for me. But I was out of time. Trek was fast approaching and it was what it was.
Ok, back to Day 0. Friday August 5. We met the other trekkers (there are 8 of us doing the full trek) and support staff and caravanned to Deep Creek Lake, with several stops and pictures, and pictures, and pictures, and doughnuts, along the way. We started to get to know the people we would be spending the week with and I started to realize these total strangers are likely going to see me in some of my worst moments. This trek was not going to be easy and I knew my emotions would be all over the place. Can I let myself be so vulnerable to these people I know nothing about? We are all going through it. Feels quite intimate actually. To choose to do something so challenging, that I have never done before, with a group of strangers. But here I was, no turning back now. I was in it. But I still had not made a decision about the biking.
And now here we are, finally, to Day 1 (this post probably feels as long as day 1 did for me, it’s taken a long time to get to this point). We started at the top of Wisp and did a live video with Tyler (the person being honored today) and his family. We all shared our why. And while David and I were sharing our story, Tyler came over to us and just embraced us in such a warm, comforting hug. He held us tight. He told us we could wipe our tears on his shirt. And Tyler is why. And Ariella is why. And all those kids are why. I was talking with Justin on trek about how I don’t like to be told I’m so strong for going on. Because what choice to I have? But Tyler? Tyler is strong. Tyler, with terminal cancer, comforted us. That is strength. Ariella was strong. Not because she had cancer. But because she continued to live her best life while she had cancer. That is strength. I was relying on her strength to get me through this. I was taking this challenge on by choice. She didn’t have a choice and what we were about to go through would not come close to comparing to what she went through. I channeled her strength all day.
After videos and photos our trek officially began. We walked 27.68 miles in 6:40, up and down the steep, mountainous roads. We saw donkeys, a horse, a whole herd of cows who ran as a group toward the fence of their pasture to check us out, and sunflowers. (I usually like to share pictures on my blogs but it’s not always easy on this site so I’ll add them after the last day or you can see them on Facebook AriellaStrong – Ari’s Bears or instagram aris_bears) We had an amazing support team with water and food and cold towels. All we had to do was walk. I reluctantly decided early on that I was not going to ride my bike for sure the first few days. The roads were steep with lots of curves and heavy traffic. I was anxious even thinking about it. As disappointed as I am that I am missing some miles of the trek, I am even more terrified and that’s not a good place to be when on 2 wheels. Once I made that decision I felt some relief even though there is also some frustration with myself that I can’t get past my fear.
So back to the trek. I’m not sure how to explain. Justin asked several times if I was having fun. Fun wasn’t the right word. There were many fun moments, like running over a bridge to lunch, soaring down some of the hills (while the trek is mostly walking I ran up quite a few hills because it’s easier than power walking and took advantage of the downhills to get some speed as well), and getting to know my fellow trekkers, but overall I’m not sure the word I’m looking for. There were times we all were walking close together, times when we were more spread out. We frequently walked with different team members and sometimes we walked by ourselves. I enjoyed the conversation very much but I also relished the moments to myself. It was quite meditative and here I was in this wide, open space where I could just be me. The terrain was not easy, so many long, steep hills, up and down so much of the time I was just concentrating on my breathing, putting one foot in front of the other, not thinking about anything else (except possibly dodging the cars that seem to enjoy flying on the road). And that’s really all this is. One foot in front of the other, one mile, one step at a time. I felt good at the end of the walk. And even better knowing I would not have to get on a bike. And riding in a van along the 15 mile-route the bikers took confirmed that I made the right choice. It wasn’t too long before they were finished the ride and we all gathered once again to head to the hotel to eat.
I’m still processing this and there is so much more I could write but it’s late and we do it all again in the morning. I’m sure I’ll run the range of emotions all week but my fellow trekkers are no longer strangers. We are doing this separately (because none of us will have the same experience) but together. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.
