Just a note, some day for the next month you may get more than one post if I share my writing course writing and have something else to write about. Today is one of those days.
The next couple of months are filled with events or activities that will be hard to participate in but powerful and hopefully therapeutic. Today was one of those events. Justin Berk is a meteorologist in Maryland with a very large social media following. He had gotten involved with one of our local cancer organizations and as part of his fundraising efforts he does a trek across the state of Maryland, walking and biking. The trek is grueling in the hot August sun but he frequently reminds his followers that he and his fellow trek team have a choice to do this. Kids fighting cancer undergo unbearable and toxic treatments without the option of stopping. He and his wife Shannon have since formed their own non-profit to support children fighting cancer (Just in Power Kids) but he continues to do his trek. Each day of the trek is in honor of a child fighting cancer. Ariella was honored in 2017 and 2018. This year she was recognized as one of the “in memory of” children.
Starting last year they incorporated children into the trek by having a “kids trek too” day where children can join Justin and his team on a trail for a two mile walk. Last year I brought Ariella to the trek. She was in a wheelchair, proudly showing off her scars from her external fixator which she had removed just two months prior. She had a blast, talking with Justin almost non-stop for the two miles. I finally met in person some families who I felt I already knew quite well. It was such a great, feel good experience.
This year was much different. I wasn’t sure I would be able to go but David certainly wanted to. And Justin and his wife Shannon have supported us and Ariella so of course we wanted to support them and their charity. Not only had they honored Ariella in the trek twice but they spent time with her at our house and then in the ICU as well. Shannon responded to texts from Ariella looking for advice to manage her side effects. She also made sure to be at the hospital the day Ariella died. They are good people who are doing amazing things for the community and we felt pulled to be there. Some friends of ours were there and some friends of Ariella’s. We got to see our friends who will always be family. We got to see the hope in kids who are in remission or still fighting. We feed off their spirit. They are the strong ones. Not us.
But. Ariella should have been there. This year maybe she would have been able to walk rather than ride in the wheelchair, complaining the whole way about the heat. It was a kids trek and there David and I were, without a kid. Her absence was crushing. It was quiet without her. Seeing the other kids and families just another reminder of what we are missing (not that we ever forget but here it was, in our face). At the end of the trek, when Justin spotted me, he couldn’t hold back his tears when he pulled me in for a hug. He is sincere. He and Shannon care about every child they meet and trek for. And they are supporting Ari’s Bears. In fact, the kids were able to earn prizes and one of the options was to choose a bear to donate. We had to be there. Here’s the thing, once these people are in your life, they are in your life forever. I’m not just talking about Justin and Shannon but anyone you meet in the cancer world. You support each other. Even when you are going through hell. Because they are going through hell too. They are the only ones who truly get it. And anyone who is trying to make the lives of cancer kids better needs our support as well. Too many people look away, don’t want to face it, don’t want to imagine their child sick or dying. But David and I will be there no matter how hard it is. Ariella was there supporting others even when she was sick. She would want us to do the same. And she liked Justin and Shannon and maybe, just maybe she was following along the trek as well. Apparently the trek team viewed rainbows several days in a row.
We have some other things coming up that are also going to be quite challenging. David and I are heading to a bereaved parents retreat in Arizona. I am not sure what to expect. I hope it’s therapeutic, I am sure it will be hard. I don’t know what I hope to get out of it. Mainly I just want to connect with other parents who “get it.” And this is specific to cancer. And I think that makes a difference in being able to relate, at least right now when it’s still so fresh and raw.